6L in the House
by Death's Final Rose
Summary: The the third Key to the Kingdom have gone missing. There are only a spare few of the Piper's children that will be chosen to find it. In come my class and a parody that takes pain to the extreme.
1. The Excursion Gone Wrong

Hehe. I'm officially becoming a humour writer. This story is about my friends and I, and how we get sent to the world of Arthur Penhaligon, of the Keys to the Kingdom series by Garth Nix. This is Part 1 of several stories, where we get sent to various different books, or TV shows. Anyway enjoy! And don't forget the mushrooms that will invade if you don't review!

**Because of certain reasons, I will use the names that my friends and I normally use for obscuring our true names. And oh yeah, this is written in third person…and it's from back when we were all in Year 6…and we hadn't split up gone off to different schools…(well, four of us went to the same school, but two others ran off to others.)**

Location: Sindenham Station, onboard.

One carriage of the morning train to Martin Place Station in the city of Sydney, was full of noisy children. Half of the carriage was devoted to females, and the other to the guys. The girls were yabbering on about who-knows-what and the guys were clowning around and getting out of their seats and getting yelled at by the substitute teacher. It was an excursion. Unlike other excursions, it was going to be boring- they were going to a MUSEUM. And of course, most museums are boring…and this one was pretty much about Australia. And these kids had been learning about Australia ever since Preschool.

One group of six girls had bagged two three-seaters for themselves. Two girls, one Chinese with short, layered hair, the other Japanese-Macedonian and with wavy, dark brown hair that got paler as it neared the bottom of her long ponytail; it was dirty blonde at the bottom, were talking about their stories they were currently writing on Fanfiction. One girl, sitting next to the Japanese-Macedonian, was also Chinese, and looked a bit like a Chinese hobbit with a ponytail and a light green headband. She was swaying on her seat and singing, "JELly, WOBboly JELly, YUMmeh on my PLATE. JELly, WOBboly JELly, makes me feel HAPPY," with the girl sitting opposite her, ANOTHER Chinese girl who looked like a Chinese hobbit with a ponytail, but with glasses. (HA! That's me!) The girl sitting next to that girl was…wait for it…partly Chinese…and partly Vietnamese…(Our school is super multi-cultural. Nods)

She was trying to ignore the two crazy girls singing the Jelly Song. The Song, had in fact, been composed by the one with the headband. Miss Glasses thought it was plain spiffy and joined in. And next to THAT girl was ANOTHER Chinese girl who was reading a book.

It continued basically like this for the rest of the trip, except the two singing girls switched to the Llama Song. It went like this:

"I'm a llama,

Yes I am,

I'm a true llama,

I'm a llama and I hope you'll understand

I'm a llama, yes I am,

And I'm proud to be part of this chicken coop…"

At least I think that's how it goes.

The crazy class had been together for over one and a half years, and were all pyschobabbling freaks.

They got off at Martin Place, and continued on to the Museum. Now, we skip to the interesting part.

"OOH!" the headband girl said, running at a computer. They were SUPPOSED to be looking at paintings about the Rainbow Serpent, but Miss Headband was a computer nut so she liked computers. "COMPUTER!"

"ARGH!" the one with layered hair arghed. She ran after Miss Headband. "Get back here Blu!"

"COMPUTER!" came the reply. Since this group of girls, (Also known as the Reading Group to others, but to themselves, they were just the Gang. How original.) were bloody good friends, they ran after Blu, just to see what she was up to.

Each and every one of them committed a Blu- which is running into something slap bang. (It's called this because Blu was the first one who did it. She crashed into the library door for some reason or another and then got majorly pissed off about it.) The thing they all crashed into was Blu herself.

They picked themselves off the floor, laughing like they always do, which makes them the healthiest group in the class. (Laughter is the best medicine, remember?)

"COMPUTER!" Blu yelled again, as if nothing had happened. She poked the computer screen, which went gazoonk. "YAY!" Blu shouted, and started hacking into the mainframe.

"NO MORE HACKING!" The Peacemaker with layered hair yelled at Blu, trying to get her away from the computer.

"MEANO MAIGE!" Blu screamed, trying to get at it. The author of this story, and also the one who likes singing with Blu, thought this was absolutely spiffy and that it would be fun to just see what was in the mainframe of a museum, so she jabbed Maige around the waist, giving her an electric shock. Maige jumped, releasing Blu, and started on a telling-off for the author: "Don't do that Via! NOW SHE'S GONNA HACK AGAIN!"

In case you were wondering, the rest of the class had wondered off to a soundproof room. They were going to stay there for the next one and a half hours.

"HA!" Blu yelled, and Via stared at the screen. It was all just a jumble of nasty symbols. "That's it?"

"NOW I CAN GET ANYWHERE I WANT!" Blu yelled, jabbing her finger at the screen.

"Okay…" Miss Long Hair With Blonde Tip.

"Let's go to the Keys to the Kingdom website!" Via shouted in Blu's ear, since she was absolutely mad about Garth Nix's books.

"OKAY!" Blu screamed back at her. She started poking the screen again, and suddenly, this swirling black vortex appeared, and then it became all these pretty colours. "Pretty colours," Blu said in her baby voice.

"NO!" Via yelled. "NO MORE BLACK! I MUST FIND BLACK!" She was becoming a very angry little hobbit, and she's also a very sadistic hobbit. She punched the screen, not expecting a reaction at all. Instead, the screen went black again, and she got pulled through, dragging along the rest of her crazy friends.

Location: the House, Suzy's home

"So, are these all of the Piper's children?" Arthur asked, looking around. "Doesn't seem like a whole lot."

"They haven't all arrived yet," Suzy said impatiently. "Just wait. They'll start pouring in from all directions."

Just then, there were several loud yells, and a moment later, Arthur disappeared under the weight of six girls. "You got the all directions part right," came his muffled voice.

"Hey, who are you?" Suzy asked. "I haven't met you guys yet. And I thought I knew all of the Piper's children."

"I'M NOT ONE OF THE PIPER'S CHILDREN!" The one with Macedonian and Japanese blood yelled at her. "I AM THE ULTIMATE RULER OF THE FLUTES!"

"AND I'M SUZY TURQUOISE BLUE!" Suzy yelled back at her. "Oh, and here's my friend Arthur…Night Black. I think you've already met him…"

"Really?" the girl looked around, and downwards to see what the squishy thing she was standing on was. It was Arthur's face. "Ow," he muttered.

"Oops," she said, and started laughing her head off. Via was already beyond that. She was holding onto her stomach with tears streaming down her face. Being a complete sadist, she thought that this certain boy was in a lot of pain. And for her, pain is cool. And very funny. (She had once burst into hysterical laughter while reading a story where this dude had a girl who had a major crush on him, but he turned her down, and she got pissed, and since he was a shape shifter, and shape shifter blood is very good, she stuck him on a table and dropped a big stone SLOWLY onto him. Then she collected the blood.)

"So why haven't I met you before…? I was positive I knew all of the Piper's children…"

"I'M NOT ONE OF PIPER'S CHILDREN! I AM THE ULTIMATE RULER OF THE FLUTES!"

"So what," Suzy said scornfully. "The Piper can play…duh da duh da! The pipe!"

"Cool!" Blu said, looking at her intently. "Who the heck are you?"

"I already said I was Suzy Turquoise Blue," Suzy said in a kind of irritable voice because she had to say her name twice.

"And I'm Blu-"

"Yeah, you're Blu…Blue," Via said, chipping in. She knew full well what was going on because she's typing this right now, and because she's making herself the crazy person she really is, she needed to make sure that her friends had proper names. She was the only person who had actually read the Keys to the Kingdom series in the whole Gang, and apparently, the Piper's children's last names were all colours. And she wasn't exactly feeling creative.

"I'm n-" Blu started, but Via whacked her on the head, saying, "Oh, Blu! You have a fly on your head!"

"There's no flies around here," Suzy said, looking at Via strangely.

"Then it was something that looked like a fly!" she said, trying to bluff.

"I'm Sierra Lavender Purple," the Ultimate Ruler of the Flutes said. She was one of the more clever ones and was catching on.

"Maige Sapphire Blue," the one with the layered hair said.

"Pixie Blood Red," said the Vietnamese/Chinese one.

"Glade Lime Green!" said the second-last, the one who had been reading the book on the train.

"AND I AM VIA OBSIDIAN BLACK! HA! I GOT BLACK! BLACK IS COOL!"

Everyone stared. "But I'm Arthur Night Black," Arthur protested feebly from underneath the girls' feet. "Oh sorry!" Maige exclaimed, and got off him. She was an extremely nice person who is…extremely nice?

Via looked down and started laughing again. She bounced a bit on Arthur. The other girls except for Blu got off, since they felt a titchy bit sorry for the poor Arthur. Via was still laughing. Blu joined in, using Arthur as a trampoline since she loved bouncing. Via thought this was plain spiffy so she started bouncing too.

Blu stopped suddenly and inspected her left leg. "What?" Maige asked in a concerned tone. "Did you hurt yourself?" She pulled out a first aid kit from her pocket.

"No," Blu said. "But I think my leg just got stronger!" She started bouncing again.

"Okay," Maige said, and stuck the kit back in her pocket and pulled out a flower and stuck it in her hair. "Peace, girls and boys, peace."

Blu stopped jumping again and inspected her left leg again. "What?" Maige asked in a concerned tone. "Did you hurt yourself?" She pulled out a first aid kit from her pocket.

"Whoa," Blu said, ignoring the offer of first aid. "I think my ankle just got stronger!" She started bouncing again.

"Okay," Maige said, and stuck the kit back in her pocket and pulled out another flower and stuck it in her hair, only above the other ear. "Peace, girls and boys, peace," she said again, only doing the peace sign this time.

"Owee," Arthur moaned. "Stop it! Or I shall be forced to use my great powers!" (A/N This is for after Grim Tuesday. I haven't been able to get my hands on Drowned Wednesday yet. )

"What great powers?" Blu looked at him closely. "You mean like Harry Potter?"

"Whose Harry Potter?" he replied, brandishing a little silver thingo that looked a bit like a fork. Blu likes eating, so she grabbed the little silver thingo that looked a bit like a fork, and started swishing it through the air. "I NEED FOOD!"

"Here," Sierra said, giving her a Styrofoam cup of coffee she had gotten from nowhere.

"STYROFOAM!" Maige screeched, and grabbed the coffee, dumping the hot contents on Arthur's face. "This is evil, I tell you, evil!"

"Blimey, have you been taking drugs?" Pixie asked. (Don't ask me where the name came from)

"DRUGS ARE EVIL!" Maige started brandishing the Styrofoam cup above her head, swinging it around and dripping the remaining bits of coffee all over the real Piper's children which had all arrived and were watching the coolest 4D movie ever made. "Whoa, this is so real!" one kid said to his neighbour.

"NO MORE POLLUTION!" Maige screamed, and threw the cup at him. It bounced off his head, and hit his neighbour on the head. It bounced of his head, then off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head, then it bounced off his head, then it bounced off his neighbour's head. So forth.

"Wow, that's majorly 4D," one girl said to her friend. "It's so real!"

Just then, there was the sound of masculine screaming, which just like feminine screaming, only more…feminine.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Glade screamed, grabbing all the girls and pulling them away. Pixie tried to linger either because a) she wanted to have a look at Arthur again or b) she wanted to see the guys falling out of the ceiling.

They all fell out of the ceiling and landed on top of Arthur, who said, "Ouch. Is this a football game?" There were a complete total of 16 guys that were all still screaming their masculine screams that sound even more feminine than feminine screams.

**Who were the newcomers? Find out in the next chapter of '6L in the House'! **


	2. The Deep Dark Forest

Hi everyone! To refresh your memory, all these boys fell out of the ceiling and onto Arthur in the last chapter…

Location: On top of Arthur Penhaligon/Night Black

"FOOTBALL!" the boys all yelled, since most of them liked…football. "WE CALL IT SOCCER! FOOTBALL SOUNDS LAME!"

"Okay…" Arthur muttered. "NOW EVERYONE GET OFF ME! BEFORE I USE MY GREAT POWERS!" He waved his gauntleted hands around to emphasise the point.

"Oh yeah?" one Chinese guy said to him. (You see, everyone in the class has some Asian blood, except for one dude who' Australian and another who's Greek. . Multicultural school and class, see?)

Arthur asked him a rude question: "Who the f-" there was a beep. "Are you?"

"I'm Cameron! And you must bow down to me! Because I am plain cool!"

At this point, Via got pissed off at her archenemy and hit him over the head from behind. Maige grabbed her around the middle and took her off to a corner to try and calm her down. It wasn't working very well, but Maige is very good at doing lots of stuff.

Cameron ignored the hit. "Well Mister Gloves," he said to Arthur, "Who the f (beep) are you?"

"I am-" Arthur tried to get into a good pose from under all the boys, "Arthur Night Black!"

"HA!" Via yelled from her corner. "WE GOT HERE BEFORE J00 BOYS DID! HAHAHAHA!"

"NOT OUR FAULT!" Just about all of them shouted back at her, "WE HAD TO SNEAK OUT OF CLASS!"

"TOO BAD FOR J00!" Via yelled, since she liked saying j00 a lot.

One fat (and very Chinese) guy with glasses made a scoffing sound, which he makes when he is feeling apoplectic. "Who cares if you got here first?"

"We do!" Maige said, going to Via's aid since she couldn't restrain the hobbit. Maige, despite her super nice nature, was a killer in an argument. "So shut up, you fat idiot! You can't even swim four strokes!"

"Oh yeah?" he yelled.

"Erm…" Arthur said, trying to use the power of the Key he still had. (Blu was still waving the other around, ranting about food) "This is supposed to be about me! And Suzy! Not all you crazy people!"

"NOT CRAZY!" Via yelled. "ECCENTRIC! ECCENTRIC IS COOL!"

At this point, Arthur managed to get the Key under control and send the boys on top of him flying into the audience, which all ran out of the room in terror. "HA!" Arthur exclaimed triumphantly, jumping to his feet. "TAKE THAT!"

"Now, why don't you explain the problem to them?" Suzy asked.

"Okay!" Arthur put on a louder voice. "The third Key has been stolen. We need around two dozens Piper's children to help me and Suzy find it. (N/A Note the selfish grammar) All we know is that the Key is somewhere in the Deep Dark Forest. So let's get moving people! You all need to pass a test, first."

"WHO CARES ABOUT TESTS?" they all yelled. "WE ALL PASSED THE SELECTIVE WITH GOOD SCORES!"

"What?" Arthur was distracted. "But this test is about your strength and agility."

"Who bloody cares about these tests?" Via asked herself, and promptly began typing: Arthur suddenly spasmed and said twitchily, "We don't need to bother with tests..."

"Yay!" everyone cheered, and began to search for things to help them on their epic journey to find the Key. Blu and Howard were accompanied by a group of boys (Cameron, Bryan, Tim, Max and Alex) to find some random objects. Well…the extra boys went along to see if Blu and Howard would do something romantic since they were said to like each other. A lot. (Rumour, people, rumour!) And the couple weren't trusted with food, since they ate a lot. Well, for Blu, she ate a lot when she ate. Other times she just skipped breakfast, skipped recess, skipped lunch, and had nine mangoes for afternoon tea.

Maige told Via that if she behaved she could help to look for weapons, so naturally, the Chinese hobbit agreed. They were accompanied (to their disgust) Derek, Andrew, and Botong. Mostly because they liked guns a lot, just like Via. Maige had to go along with Via since she didn't want to be stuck with a group of boys, just like Blu was. Via was chucking a mental and racing around crazily, despite Maige trying to calm her down and Maige getting Andrew to try and engage Via in a conversation about the Seventh Tower series by Garth Nix, since she had just started to read them. When she wasn't screaming about guns, of course.

Everyone else got to look for food.

This was all accomplished quickly, since the author didn't want to go into details, like she does for her real story, so she made everything appear.

Then they got to set off on the adventure.

Location: Just outside the Deep Dark Forest.

"Right everyone!" Arthur was trying to be all military. "We are about to tread on enemy territory! The moment we get past the first tree there will be NO turning back!" He saluted everyone, who all stared blankly except for Via who saluted back. She liked saluting. (N/A If all you people think that I'm becoming too much of a big character, I'm not. I'm just treating myself as I really am. I'm writing this as if I am everyone, and I'm just writing down what I guess everyone would do.) Arthur turned towards the deep and dark trees. "Forward, march!"

He marched into the trees. Everyone followed him, silently, except for Maige, who whispered to Via, "Is he supposed to be like this in the real series?"

"This is the real series!" came the reply. "The new, _edited _series."

Maige grinned. She liked edited things.

For the next minute or so, the air got steadily colder. The author likes survival stories so she made it even colder and refused to give everyone thicker clothing. Just to be funnier. Everyone's teeth were chattering and were huddled closely together, girls with girls, guys with guys. Well, except for Bryan (a.k.a Lard) since he was burning off all his fat. Everyone was a bit more cheerful when Maige announced that since Lard has so much fat, he was like a big seal. Then when his fat ran out, he would die. You see, Andrew (who's Christian) had a good theory. Via helped him with the last bit. He said that Lard was getting born, and God saw that he was coming, so he made us all die because he felt sorry for us; Lard takes up so much space no one can breathe. And Via had said that a necromancer came along and brought us back to life as zombies. Zombies that looked human, that is. (N/A This is true!)

Night soon came so they tried to light a fire. They collected some sticks and rocks and just like in the dumb movies they put the stones in a circle and the sticks in a teepee shape and tried rubbing sticks and stones together. Actually, the guys were doing that. The girls had promised they could use their pencils and stuff back at school, so the guys got to do that. Arthur and Suzy were of no use. Arthur walked around barking out stupid orders while Suzy tried to learn modern talk, with all the 'like's in the middle of sentences. She got scared when Via kept saying 'bloody'. So the girls made orders, as follows-

Blu- Iced Coke

Pixie- Iced Tea

Sierra- Coffee

Glade- Sprite

Suzy- Water

Via- iced Coke.

After they were served, everyone took out their spiffy little sleeping bags (except for Bryan, because he took out his big sleeping bag) and went looking around for somewhere to take a shower. The author decided to give them all a shower. Literally. It began to rain. But then too many people complained so she made everything dry again, and two shower block. The girls finished showering quickly, but the boys took way longer since there were more of them. Bryan often got bullied so he had to go in last, which was a good thing for the rest of the boys because when he tried to get in, the shower cubicle shattered.

Everyone was trying to go to sleep by counting every single pink pumpkin that hopped by, since just about everyone in the class was an insomniac. They were all counting the two hundred and third pink pumpkin when the cubicle shattered, bringing them all back to full awareness. Full grumpy awareness at that. They all tried to count pink pumpkins again, while they all snuggled down deep in their spiffy little sleeping bags. Except for Bryan, who tried to get into his huge sleeping bag. When he finally got in, he fell asleep immediately. An enormous racket that sounded like a chainsaw and a machine gun had fallen in love and were trying to perform Romeo and Juliet at the Sydney Opera House started up. Bryan's famous snoring. It had made the front page of the newspaper that Orlando Bloom, Tom Felton and the witch from Ding Dong the Witch is Dead reads.

Everyone couldn't fall asleep, so they got the spiffy idea of playing tricks on Bryan since he was such a heavy sleeper. Everyone except Pixie, because she had an inch of logic and unearthed some funny earmuffs from somewhere and fell asleep. Arthur was making a good deal of noise since he thought he was the boss, so he was strutting around trying to get ideas out of everyone. Suzy sat around making stupid remarks. This is what Arthur was saying: "Men! We have a goal. To get some sleep! So first we must demolish the obstruction of our sleep- the chainsaw and machine gun dating each other! I mean the snoring! So! Do we have any ideas?"

"Well," Cameron said. "We could put maple syrup and honey and butter and sticks and nose boogies in his sleeping bag."

Everyone threw their pillows at him, so a second later he was buried under a mass of pillows. "Darn," Maige said. "My pillow landed right on top of him. Now it's tainted."

"You've already done that before!" Everyone yelled at Cameron. "You did that at camp!"

"It's a good idea!" Arthur barked. Literally. After he said the real words he dropped to his knees and started saying "Woof. Woof. Woof." The cause of this was because Blu hadn't given back the first Key and had accidentally used it to magically hack into a TV commercial, and it turned out to be one that advertised Furreal puppies (he was just born yesterday!) so Arthur ended up repeating what the toy dog said.

So everyone decided to go along with the idea so they found some maple syrup and honey and butter and sticks and shoved them in Bryan's sleeping bag. No one find any nose boogers lying around in the trees, so they compromised by getting more maple syrup and pouring it up Bryan's nose and into his ears. This didn't stop the snoring, though. So the evil bunch of kids, now led by a barking Arthur and still-sane (or not!) Suzy, found some Textas and drew patterns on Bryan's face. Everyone got his or her own share of canvas since his face is really big. And fat. So they all drew random things on his cheeks and nose, like mermaids and leviathans and money signs and telephone poles. Suzy found there was a bottle of ink and some superglue in her pocket so they nicked those and dumped the ink down Bryan's throat and glued his eyelids together. Still, nothing stopped the snoring. Suzy suggested, "Why don't we give him a haircut?" she had been searching through everyone's backpacks and had discovered a pair of scary scissors. Everyone thought this was a spiffy idea, so they gave Bryan a hair cut, and made it look like a short Mohawk. After that, they collected flowers and fixed them in the Mohawk, and then stole Bryan's glasses, smashed them, and did a war dance on them, with Arthur yapping "Woof!" every few seconds.

After that, everyone borrowed some earmuffs from Pixie and went to sleep.

The next morning, everyone woke up with Bryan screaming. The spell from yesterday's Key that made Arthur bark had worn off during the night and he was back to normal. Bryan was screaming his head off because he had discovered he could not see and was smashing into trees and making them fall over. One of the trees fell across Howard's legs, and there were two loud _crack_ sounds. "OWEE!" Howard yelled. "ME LEG JUST BROKE!"

"Legs," Suzy corrected absent-mindedly.

"OWEE!" he replied.

The morning was lost with Bryan crashing into more trees, Maige screaming at him because he was destroying nature, Via trying to kill all the guys, Arthur barking out orders left and right and trying to get the fork- I mean Key- back from Blu, Blu yelling for good food and waving the fork around, Howard searching for chickens to make scrambled eggs, and everyone else did random things.

Then they started walking again. Soon, a big castle appeared out of nowhere. "Whoa," Arthur said. "Why did a big castle just appear out of nowhere?"

"I dunno," 6L said in unison, except for Bryan, who screamed again and crashed into the front door of the castle. It was an effective knock on the door. "We have arrived at the heart of evil," Arthur said, trying to be dramatic like Yami from Yugioh. He was unsuccessful.

The door began to open.

**HA! GOTCHA ALL! GOTTA READ THE NEXT CHAPPIE IF YA WANTS TO KNOW WHO OPENED IT! **


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